These beans is colder than titties in a brass bra. – Lafayette
“Whatever” introduces us to yet even more characters than was ever necessary, much less wanted. This time we get to spend a bit of time with Salome, Roman’s seductress on staff. She was apparently around during Jesus’ time on Earth, though her exploits may have been exaggerated, she confesses to Eric at one point. She didn’t do much except get naked for the purpose of extracting all the information she could on Eric and Bill to make sure they weren’t with the Sanguinistas Movement. Like the old saying goes: you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but still… Oh and while we’re on the Vampire Authority, Reverend Steve is brought back yet again to provide some comic relief and take on major new responsibility, oy. I guess it’s better than resuming his Pepe Lepew tactics with Jason. But with his recent promotion of replacing Nan Flanagan, I suspect he will re-confront Jessica with his newfound power and try to muscle in on Jason yet again.
And ugh, Jason’s episodic arc was pathetic. Capitalizing on all the media coverage of female teachers banging their male students, Jason confronts and re-kindles the passion with an old teacher who apparently made him the sex-addict degenerate he currently is. Nothing of any interest or redeeming value here; even on a show this trashy, it’s still lazy, plodding characterization. Oh and Tara remains a royal b****, I really hope this is her last season, though I have no doubt Pam will feel a pang of guilt and rescue her dumbass from her suicide by tanning bed attempt.
Just like last week, Pam’s backstory of how she came to be Eric’s right hand was the most interesting part of the show. It gives us a peek into Bill’s early days as a savage when he and Lenore were killing off Pam’s whores, and demonstrates that Eric once had a kinder heart, before he became so cynical. Alcide and Sookie’s story didn’t raise any eyebrows as they continue to dance around their budding attraction, even after the truth about Debbie comes out. The weirdest part was when Jessica smelled that guy’s blood in the boutique after he said something to the effect of ‘having 16 sisters’ if I heard correctly? Sounds like we have another faerie on our hands, whose blood apparently smells like a combination of cotton candy and sex. Not two smells you’d normally associate as “good” when combined, but oh well.
Final Grade: C+ (more flashbacks, less everyone else next week)
TRR TV Revue by Jacob Aquino